Day 3 of Juicing

I feel pretty darn good today. Just hungry! But I haven't yet had the V-8 (ish) juice I made for lunch so maybe that will curb my appetite. I had read that the first three days were the hardest, so maybe after today I will be on the up-swing. Ironic: today at work, we have an employee cook-out to raise money for our holiday party. My job was to wait for the meat to be cooked and bring it upstairs to where it would be served. Three times. It was hard to be around all that yummy smelling food, but not partake. However, I thought it would be much worse than it was. I am STRONG like OX!

I've realized a couple of things: don't try to mix as many fruits and veggies together as possible. That sounds really dumb now that I read it, but it seemed a good idea at the time. Simple is better! For breakfast we had an apple and strawberry juice, for lunch, the 8 Vegetable juice. It is HARD to juice greens- spinach and cabbage fly right into the "catcher" and I feel like I'm getting hardly any juice and just wasting a lot. The wasting thing is really bothering me- even with something like apples that juices great, you waste SO much of the fruit. It's also expensive, but yesterday I went to Aldi for the first time to get green tea. They didn't have green tea, but their produce section was amazing! I got all this....

for $33! It is mostly fruit, but now I know where to check for produce before spending the big bucks at a pricier store. I send my husband to work with several green tea bags, but he said it's not touching his headache today. He is a big coffee drinker, so I expect that's normal.

Off to have my juice and pat myself on the back for making it longer than I thought I could!!

Day 2 of Juicing

I'm still thining of burritos.

I went to bed at 9:00 last night because I was so hungry and tired and I feel GOOD this morning! My husband started his first day of juicing today- so we'll see how this is as a couples activity.

I'm going to go think of burritos some more.

Day One of the Juice Detox

It sucks.

Okay, I may be a little dramatic. I am on my third cup of juice for the day. This one is all fruit so it's better- at the end of my second cup of green juice that was WAY too cucumber-y, with a full-blown headache and grumbling stomach, I was about to give up and go to Taco Rico and get a burrito. But, I had some green tea and was able to suck it up. I still have a headache and feel pretty tired, which is expected.

I think I'll go to bed as soon as the kiddo does and dream about burritos.

3 months...

In (less than) three months, I turn the big 3-0. I'm not dreading it as much as I thought I would, but I am motivated to make some changes in the (less than) 90 days I have left in my 20s.
What kind of changes do I want to make? Well, the obvious one is that I need to lose some of this weight I've managed to pick up in my mid- and late- 20s. I have a good 30 pounds that need to go... Are you seeing a trend? I certainly know I won't lose 30 pounds in the next 3 months, but I figure I can get some of them off.
So why is any of this interesting? It's really not, is it? Another over-weight American woman complaining about her weight and age. But, what makes it interesting is that for the next ten days, I have something to blog about! I watched a documentary called "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" yesterday to motivate myself, and boy did it do the trick. I highly recommend it- it's on instant Netflix. It motivated me to do something I've never done before, and believe me, I've tried LITRALLY (said in a Rob Lowe-Chris Traeger from "Parks and Rec" voice) every diet on the planet. For the next ten, yes, TEN days, I am on a juice fast. I will be blending my own fruit and vegetable juices in my lovely Jack La Lanne Power Juicer that my sweet husband rushed out to get at 5:15 on Sudnay afternoon after I had finished "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" and decided I want to start my cleanse MONDAY. Thanks, boo.
I am planning on blogging on each of the ten days to document what is going on with my body and my mind. Hopefully, the next three months will see my change from my current path to the one I want to be on and the next ten days will kick-start it. I'll discuss more of these goals in the upcoming posts.
CHEERS! (I'm raising my glass of greens, romaine, cuc, celery, lemon, and watermelon juice in the air.)

Dating??

Soooo it's been awhile. I won't bore you with the details- mainly- work, grad school, toddler. Because of this, my husband and I rarely have alone time that isn't spent sprawled on (separate) couches watching TV and barely mustering up the energy to grunt at each other. I got an email from our Pastor yesterday telling us about a Date Night/Kids Night Out tonight. For $5, you drop your kiddo off and go out for 2 1/2 hours of ADULT FUN! I was psyched. We signed T up, and are all geared up for our date. But then I went back and read the email. And looked further into it. Apparently this is a series called "The Great Date Experiment" where you watch a short video, and then go on a date with homework. I'm not sure about it- and I KNOW my husband would not be into it. I'm tempted to go and give it a shot, without telling my husband that it's not exactly what we thought. But then I wonder, is it counter-productive to start a series that is supposed to grow your marriage with a teensy little white lie? Maybe it will be super awesome and we're just grouchy and cynical. If nothing else, it would give me something interesting to blog about. Otherwise, I'll be writing "SPSS is hard. Heart disease is scary. This going-vegan thing blows."
And, being the rebels we are, we may totally blow off the homework and go furniture shopping. Because we're that badass.

Darling Boy

My Precious, Precious Child,

Sometimes I worry that I'm not a good enough mother for you, that you deserve someone better. Someone that is fluent in several languages, and can stay home with you, and never raises her voice or tells you "NO NO." But then you step too close to railing, or I remember that I didn't lock the front door when I left you and daddy at home sleeping sweetly on my 4:00 am drive to the airport and a wave of terror passes over me that tells me, I am a good mom. I would do anything in this world to keep you safe, happy, healthy. I would cut off my legs if it would mean you would never be in pain or danger. I will never be disappointed in you for what you are. Maybe in some of the choices you make, but never in YOU. I will continue to love you this fiercely, this sweetly, forever. Who you love, your faith, your politics (even if you're the most Conservative of Conservatives... Lord help me!) are yours, and not mine. You are the reason that I care that all couples have the freedom to marry. You are the reason that I care that everyone have access to good, affordable health care. You are the reason that I want more legislature for good schools and gun control.

I try so hard not to worry too much. I don't want you to be fearful, so I can't appear to be. When you fall, my heart skips a beat. I want to rush to you, to cry out. But instead, I stay where I am, and say "Uh oh!" and you happily get up and continue on your way. I drive so much more cautiously with you in the car. I don't care if people fly around me because I am going the speed limit... I don't care if I'm a few minutes late. I am carrying Precious Cargo, and that is more important than a stranger flipping me the bird (don't ever do that, it's so classless) or arriving on time. I am trying to eat healthier, and exercise to be a good example to you, and not pass on my body phobias and insecurities.

You are at such a sweet age. You love me, you love your daddy, you love balls and your Cozy Coupe. You are funny and happy and healthy. You are just independent enough without completely breaking my heart... yet. Right now, you love to be with me. Right now, Daddy and I are your favorite people. I know that won't always be the case. When I dropped you off this morning at school, after a week of not being there, you happily trotted in and told me "Bye!" before I was ready to go. I know that is a testament to your security... to feeling safe at home and at school. But I'm not ready for you to be SO ready for me to leave.

I know you won't always like that you have to invite your whole class to your birthday party, or go to church on Sundays, or finish up the season of that one sport you thought you wanted to play but now don't. You'll think I have no sense of humor when I tell you that making fun of someone is wrong, and that words and kindness matters. That we're all made to be different, and that's wonderful.

I know you won't understand when you aren't allowed to wear this, or go there, or drive with those kids... I know you'll think I'm being mean and unfair and old fashioned, and that I don't remember what it was like to be teenager. Believe me, I remember far too well. And I love you far too much. I won't be that one "cool" parent who allows parties and drinking and has a secret code she yells down the stairs when the cops show up. I don't need to be your friend yet.

I will hate your friends and partners when they break your heart. I will wish it was my heart. I will try to keep my mouth shut when you don't want my advice. I said TRY. I will remember why things that I know don't matter much in the long run matter so much to you now. I will nurture your body and soul. I will encourage you to do the right thing, even when it is the hard thing. I will strive to do the same.

I will love your father. I will keep my vows to him. I will set the best example of partnership and teamwork and marriage and love that I can.

I will love you. I will love you. I will love you. When you need me, when you don't, when you hate me, I will love you.

Romans 12

Two weeks ago, a friend passed away unexpectedly. She was 27 and fabulous. I've been thinking about her so much the past couple of weeks, and really wanted to write about her but wasn't sure what to say. What can you ever say when someone dies too, too soon?

I met Rose my first week of work at a past job. It was her last week. All the girls that worked there were thin and immaculately dressed. I was dumpy and dowdy. You couldn't help but like Rose right off the bat. She had a voice like a 5 year old and great taste in everything. We bonded over our love for Coke Zero. Rose immediately included me in the "going away" festivities to paint pottery. I was too afraid to go because I barely knew anyone, but it meant so much to me to be invited.

We stayed in touch after she started her new job, and went on several double dates with our husbands. She invited us to dinner parties with all their other friends. She introduced me to Coke Cherry Zero. When her husband was in basic training in Texas, she was overwhelmed and frustrated with trying to deal with selling their house and all the headaches that comes with that. My husband was hardly ever home. We'd never done anything just the two of us, and I was nervous. What should I wear? What if I couldn't think of anything clever or interesting or funny to say? What if she thought I was so boring and lame? Come on... you know you've got a little bit of 16-year-old in you when you're hanging out with "The Cool Kid." None of that was a problem. We went shopping and to a movie and lunch. We laughed and laughed and laughed at "Dan in Real Life." Every time I see that movie I think of her cracking up at the dinner table scene with Steve Carell's character being awkward and inappropriate. She introduced me to Lotsa Noodles and told me to try the pesto and tomato sauce. We found a great deal on camisoles (You know, the kind you wear under shirts... Not the sexy kind. We were shopping for her seeing-Justin-for-the-first-time-after-Basic, but I didn't get THAT involved!) that I still wear on a regular basis.

Rose and Justin were stationed in Valparaiso, FL and their going away dinner was at a favorite Italian restaurant. They served one of her and Justin's "Eat like a bird, run like a cheetah" staples- spinach and strawberry salad. I think everyone else ate pizza. :-) Our friends had just had a baby and he was the hit of the party! We all gushed about having kids someday... Kristan told us what it was really like and brought us down to earth with stories of c-sections and jaundice. I thought it wouldn't be long until we'd hear that Rose and Justin were starting a family.

The last time I saw Rose was early 2008 when they came back to visit. She had made treats and snacks at Kristan's house and it seemed like she had never left. I was newly pregnant and she was so happy for me, even though it was a less than perfect situation. She even wrote me later to tell me how cute she thought I looked and how she couldn't wait to meet the baby.

We kept in touch through the wonders of Facebook. She sent me healthy cooking and baking tips. She gave me icing recipes that knocked my socks off. She commented on picture after picture after picture of my son. She emailed me to make sure I was okay and not upset (with her, of all things!) after a particularly ugly and hurtful Facebook religion debate. Rose truly cared about people. She didn't agree with my liberal politics, but she cared that I was sad. She was always so kind when we'd talk about the things we disagreed about. And with Rose, I didn't really have to get into it. I know what she believed, and she knows what I believed. And that was fine. We don't agree, but we respected each other. Her views came from a place of love and concern for people's well-being.

The best word to describe Rose IS kind. Kristan called her that during her memorial, and it is the perfect word to describe Rose. Yes, she was incredibly artistic. She was a wonderful cook and baker. She was organized and involved with church and loved her husband and her dog and her family and her friends and Jesus and kids... But most of all she was kind.

Her marriage will go down as one of the great love stories. They got married a couple of years after dating, while still in college. She said that they couldn't keep their hands off each other, so they just got married! It was so obvious how much they love each other. They were so attentive and sweet to each other. Justin would tell funny stories... There was one about Rose's voice setting something off... Does anyone remember what it was? I want to say those lights things that you clap to make turn on and off! I think about Justin everyday. My heart breaks for him. It is so unfair for someone to die so young. But it is so unfair for someone to lose their love so young.

So Rose, thank you. Thank you for touching my life in such a short time. Thank you for being my friend. I wish I'd told you what a great mother you would be. I wish I had told you how much I admired your marriage and commitment to Justin. I wish I could have your sureness of faith, your dedication to improving your walk with Christ. I wish you had met my son. I miss Facebooking with you about big things and little things. Who will answer all my baking questions? No one is going to fill the big void you left. I wish you were still here. But I know where you are, and I know how happy you are to be with your Creator. You were such an example of His love. I hope to see you again, Friend.